"Effort beats talent over time; persistence is a bigger indicator of long-term success than talent.” If students remembered nothing else from today’s lesson, I wanted them to remember this.
Every week, Darlington learning specialists teach a different lesson, and the first topic of the New Year was goal-setting. People set goals all the time but they frequently fail. Why?
One student was quick to offer a good reason. “Because it’s not what I want to do!” He is absolutely right. Whether the goal is athletic, academic or for personal reasons, the person must own it. This is one reason why children fail at their parents’ goals for them.
Goals must be viewed as:
Desirable: You want to do it
Achievable: The goal can be accomplished with effort
Conceivable: You can see yourself reaching the goal
Measurable: Progress can be measured, and adjusted if necessary
Controllable: Short-term daily goals are within what you can control
There are important facts to know about succeeding at a goal, both short-term and long-term. Achieving goals must be understood as a daily, thoughtful process that is growth oriented, set up to build confidence and motivation.
A long-term goal can be an “A” in a course or winning a state athletic title, but the key to success is found in one day at a time.
Short-term goals executed correctly build confidence because they are focused on growth toward a goal, rather than judging an immediate outcome as a description of a person. At least one trusted mentor who can advise and encourage the short-term goal process is necessary because plateaus and mistakes are part of the process.
Mistakes must be viewed as valuable information necessary to succeed at a goal and not as a definition of failure. This view is a hard concept for most students because they live in a world of grading and judgment. With coaching, however, students can understand a growth mindset and doing so relieves a significant amount of stress.
People of all ages innately understand that praise and accolades not earned don’t build anything positive and honest. False praise undermines the very purpose it is trying to build. This is why academics must have the right amount of challenge and grades must be earned, not “given.” Think again if you hear your child say, “The teacher gave me a 100.”
The positive attitude that a realistic goal can be accomplished over time by good process is such a different message than today’s stress producing orientation of living in the present of today's mistake. Just knowing that the key to success is persistence and not some magical talent is encouraging. If students can experience that effort and grit over time is more important than immediate success, they will be set up to manage life’s challenges. Sadly, today’s emphasis often falls to the grade of the day, but without a plan to learn from it.
For all the parents who worry about their child’s self-esteem and self-confidence, a correct goal-setting process coached by a caring mentor is the best way to accomplish strong characteristics. The pay-off for reaching thoughtful short-term goals is increased motivation and pride; it is a process that builds on itself to achieve a long-term goal. This is growth mindset in action. This is how “successful people” achieve their goals and live their lives.
