What's in a Handshake?

Yesterday, I shook the hand of every incoming Darlington student during the Honor Book Signing ceremony.  For those who were unable to attend, the ceremony was breathtaking and inspirational while also being a very somber event.  The students were in dress-day attire.  Oxford shirts, red Darlington School ties and khaki slacks for young men and a regulation plaid skirt and purple oxford shirt for young ladies.  Everyone was looking sharp!  The air was thick with the nervous energy and the anticipatory excitement that students and teachers feel at the beginning of each new year. 

Several students and pre-K teacher Mrs. Beth Smith (’87) came forward to speak to the assembly.  The students introduced the tradition of signing the Honor Book and read aloud the Honor Code, which holds 4 powerful but simple tenants: 1. “I will not lie.” 2. “I will not cheat.” 3. “I will not steal.” 4. “I will not tolerate dishonorable behavior on the part of myself or others.”  Simple to say – but demonstrating honor in everything we do is extraordinarily difficult to live out. 

I found myself listening attentively to the speeches and, although they were deeply meaningful and excellently delivered, wanting them to end so I could sign the book.  I was not in a hurry – quite the contrary.  I was eager to affirm my commitment to this principle.  The speeches called my mind to the state of American education today.  I thought of the media reporting on teachers who changed their students’ standardized tests answers.  News flashes ran through my mind: Teachers fired, principals knew of cheating, shamed superintendent knew but remains unavailable for comment.  And these are just the recent local educational news events!  Beyond the recent news, I myself have seen disturbingly dishonorable behavior within schools. 

Make no mistake; in a world where many teachers and students feel marginalized, hopeless and forgotten, Darlington School stands starkly in contrast to public, and even private schools.  I have seen Darlington’s honor culture firsthand.  It is reflected in everyone’s’ eyes – from the grounds crew, to the administration; from the students to the teachers.  The honor of this place is reflected in the tiniest gestures of kindness and the greatest personalities on campus. 

Suddenly, I felt a deep urge to sign the book.  I felt it would somehow galvanize my place in Darlington School – a refuge in a world where greed and influence displace honor and compassion.  

I am honored and humbled to have been the first to sign the Darlington Honor Book for the 2011-12 school year.  When I signed the book, I was thinking, perhaps too deeply, that in this act I affirmed my commitment to living honorably.  I share a bond with each of the people whose signatures came before, as well as those who will come after.  When I was finished signing, I stood at the front of Morris Chapel.  The sight I saw was inspirational.  Each of the new Upper School employees came forward to sign the book.  And as they were signing, I wondered what it meant to each of them. 

I was so moved by the ceremony’s symbolism that I spontaneously decided I wanted to shake the hand of each student.  What they were doing, in this simple act was profound.  One by one, I looked them in the eye and thanked them for joining the Darlington School community.

What’s in a handshake?  Well, yesterday each of my 100+ handshakes was an affirmation that together, we uphold “Honor above Everything.”  The simple gesture of signing our names affirms this ideal within ourselves, as well as our commitment to our Darlington brothers and sisters.  A signature implies an obligation.  A handshake forms a partnership. 

We ended the assembly by asking the others in the assembly to recite, in unison, our school motto:

Wisdom More Than Knowledge, Service Beyond Self, Honor Above Everything. 

The Darlington Honor Book is huge.  It is in my office.  I look forward to welcoming many more signatures and people into the book.