Talking With Your Child About the Disaster In Japan

If your household is like mine, you may be getting some questions and comments from your children about the continuing disaster in Japan. Even if your child doesn’t watch the news it is likely that, one way or another, news of the tragedy has reached your child’s eyes and ears. To that end, it is important to talk with your child, find out what they know about what is going on and do your best to calm their fears. Here’s how.

Make Sure You Are Okay. Kids pick up on the stress of adults. If you are affected by what is going on, try your best not to get too upset in front of your children.

Understand Your Child’s Perspective. For young children, everything is about them. When they see photos of houses being destroyed, it is very possible that soon enough they will be worrying that their house is going to be damaged. This is especially true for younger children. Do your best to reassure them that natural disasters are not something that happen every day and the likelihood of something like this happening to them is very, very small.

Watch What They Watch. It is okay to limit the exposure of upsetting images or videos that your child sees coming out of Japan. If your child is watching anything about the disaster, make sure you are there to answer any questions.

Keep The Communication Flowing. It is important to realize that your children may need to talk about this disaster over the course of many days. They are processing these events at a slower pace than adults are able to. Keep these tips in mind while talking with your children.

• Try gently probing and exploring their thoughts to help them verbalize what they are feeling. Comments such as “tell me more about that” or “what do you mean by that” are helpful. If your children are showing signs of distress but are not talking, you may need to ask them how they are feeling.

• Accept their feelings. If your child feels afraid or even a little panicky, it is good to let them know that it is okay to feel that way and that they are not alone in what they are feeling. Children need help in processing their feelings and coming to terms with these events. 

• Reflect your child's feelings. Children learn about feelings by their parents helping them to put names to them. Reflect what you think your child is feeling. For example, “It looks like you’re sad for all the people who died” or “I’m wondering if you’re scared that we will have an earthquake in our town, too.” Let your child know that other people feel similarly. For example, “I’ll bet a lot of kids are feeling scared about what happened.”

Do Something. Bringing action to a situation can help your child feel more in control of what they are feeling. As a family you could make a donation to a relief organization. You could do something to help those in need in our own community. Also, if faith is important in your family, it may be helpful to pray with your child for the victims and survivors in Japan. For example, you could share some Bible verses with your child that could be of some comfort. I have found Psalms 23 and 46 to be particularly helpful in showing how we may not know or understand why difficult things happen, but we can trust that God will never leave us alone through the challenges or tragedies of life.