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Playground, pajamas, prom: A resident teacher, mom, and mentor reflects
Nov 3, 2003 8:00 AM
By Stefan Eady - Faculty
Boarding school life is a different experience for everyone, not just students. Angela Pieroni, Middle School science teacher and cheerleading coach, shares her experiences and illustrates how one small campus becomes a large surrogate family.
Neighbors. Community. Friends. There are many ways to say it; I call it “DARworld.” It is difficult to describe. It is reminiscent of the neighborhoods of old, the neighborhoods that prompted the doormats that say, “Backdoor Friends are the Best.” The best way I can explain it is the comfort in knowing that no matter what, we are there to support each other. We don’t always agree. Many times we don’t. But as my co-worker and neighbor James Hutchins often tells me, “I’ve got your back.”
Playground
I am a transplant. I never wanted to leave my large, close-knit family in Ohio including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, second and third cousins and some that I am not sure were really, officially related. As fortune would have it, I married a Southern boy. We knew that we wanted to teach together at a boarding school.
I had a very heavy heart when we packed our moving van and drove south on I-75 from Dayton, Ohio. I don’t think I could have survived the move if it hadn’t been for the love and support I immediately received on campus.
We moved in the summer and quickly discovered that the place to be, for us, was the playground. We would swing our one-year-old daughter, Gianna, and meet our new neighbors and co-workers. Views were expressed about child rearing, grade books, and the state of education.
The common bonds put me at ease immediately. So often we bounce ideas off each other, share the details of an event, or express our frustrations to each other while we watch our kids roll around on their “Big Wheels.” I wonder if large companies wouldn’t benefit from a playground or two.
What is so different from my moving experience compared to that of others? I have the good fortune to live a life surrounded by my neighbors and co-workers. I eat all of my meals with my co-workers and their families, our children are friends, our home life and working environment overlap, and conversation is rarely stilted.
There is a tremendous understanding of what each one of us is going through and about the students with whom we all work. At times it feels like we live in a fish bowl, but the advantage is that we can reach our and support each other without needing to be asked.
Carpools
Three days a week I pull up to First United Methodist Preschool and Pam Williams, preschool director, calls out, “Darlington Crew.” Four little bodies cram themselves into my car. Four smiling faces get dropped off at four different Darlington apartments. Why is this carpool different? We are carpooling because we are working around three part-time schedules. Darlington has offered many of the working moms the opportunity to work part-time. The working moms know that this allows us to have a career that we love, working with teenagers, and helps us spend time nourishing the people in our family. As a community, we all benefit from the give and take that we have naturally adopted.
Meals
Mealtime with my children can try my patience. Like every mom, I have a tough battle teaching manners. What do I struggle with the most? My children constantly get up from the table to get and give hugs. Ayumi, whose family lives in Japan, comes in. Gianna, my daughter, jumps up with her arms spread wide and rushes over to plant a kiss on Aymi’s cheek. Next comes Amanda, whose parents work in Saudi Arabia. Both Gianna and her brother, Jonathan, squeal Amanda’s name, and she comes over for a hug. One-year-old Mallory comes in with her mom, who is the wife of a fellow faculty member, and Jonathan smiles and tells us that his “girlfriend” is here. By the time a typical meal is over, both kids have cheered up or hugged numerous students.
I know that my children and all of the young children on campus enrich the lives of the students at Darlington. What the students may not realize is that they offer much to the little kids. When a student quietly corrects my child, or kindly offers support, my child is lapping up their love. The relationship that these children have with other adults on campus also reinforces positive interactions with others from all walks of life. They are becoming more self-confident every time they speak to another teenager. Can you imagine how proud a two-year-old is when he can express himself to a group of teenagers who give him their undivided attention? Somehow, table manners don’t seem as important.
Pajamas
Often I am asked what it is like living every moment of my life with 30 girls in the dorm. It is great! I can honestly say that Darlington students see loving adult relationships, varied parenting styles, and realistic role models. They see me on my good days and also when I am dragging. My cheerleaders catch me many days at my worst. Poor girls. Although I love teaching and my family, I can be frazzled and overwhelmed by the end of the day. Does that make me a bad person? No, I don’t think it does. I think it makes me human.
There have been days when I feel that I can barely make it to another activity and I see a smiling student who waves to me across the Chapel Lawn, or passes me with a quick, “Hey, Mrs. P.” I am a much more effective teacher when I can relate to my students’ ups and downs. I have to admit, this is true for the residents more than the day students. I know that I saw my teachers as beings who never left the classroom. Do you remember the first time you saw a teacher in the lounge? Now imagine seeing your teachers in their pajamas.
Prom
Charlotte from the Class of 2002 lives her life as an example in giving. She gave freely of herself as a prefect, as a manager, and as a friend. When Senior Prom arrived, she made the announcement on the playground to the mothers swinging their children that she didn’t feel that she could justify the cost of a year’s worth of college textbooks on a dress. Several of the women listening agreed but deep down we felt that Charlotte, for all of her giving, needed to receive a special memory. Sunny Wescott Cox, wife of John Cox, Upper School English instructor, and I approached Charlotte with the proposition that Sunny would make a dress for her. She was excited, but as the big day arrived, Sunny and I realized that there was more to the day than a dress. We made a few phone calls. We contacted coaches, dorm duty teachers, and former and current teachers. Many of those who Charlotte had touched wanted to help in any way possible to make a special memory for Charlotte. Quickly, we had enough donations to pay for her shoes, handbag, dinner, prom ticket, and photos. Charlotte asked John Cox to escort her, and all involved agreed that we ended up with a memory as special as Charlotte’s. Amazing what a community can do.
No community is perfect. I choose to live here for some very specific reasons—views expressed by people who share my goals and values, shared meals, and love, the self-esteem my children receive from students, the family I am missing, laughter, tears, and teenage energy. I grow and thrive in this environment every day.
Neighbors. Community. Friends. There are many ways to say it; I call it “DARworld.” It is difficult to describe. It is reminiscent of the neighborhoods of old, the neighborhoods that prompted the doormats that say, “Backdoor Friends are the Best.” The best way I can explain it is the comfort in knowing that no matter what, we are there to support each other. We don’t always agree. Many times we don’t. But as my co-worker and neighbor James Hutchins often tells me, “I’ve got your back.”
Playground
I am a transplant. I never wanted to leave my large, close-knit family in Ohio including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, second and third cousins and some that I am not sure were really, officially related. As fortune would have it, I married a Southern boy. We knew that we wanted to teach together at a boarding school.
I had a very heavy heart when we packed our moving van and drove south on I-75 from Dayton, Ohio. I don’t think I could have survived the move if it hadn’t been for the love and support I immediately received on campus.
We moved in the summer and quickly discovered that the place to be, for us, was the playground. We would swing our one-year-old daughter, Gianna, and meet our new neighbors and co-workers. Views were expressed about child rearing, grade books, and the state of education.
The common bonds put me at ease immediately. So often we bounce ideas off each other, share the details of an event, or express our frustrations to each other while we watch our kids roll around on their “Big Wheels.” I wonder if large companies wouldn’t benefit from a playground or two.
What is so different from my moving experience compared to that of others? I have the good fortune to live a life surrounded by my neighbors and co-workers. I eat all of my meals with my co-workers and their families, our children are friends, our home life and working environment overlap, and conversation is rarely stilted.
There is a tremendous understanding of what each one of us is going through and about the students with whom we all work. At times it feels like we live in a fish bowl, but the advantage is that we can reach our and support each other without needing to be asked.
Carpools
Three days a week I pull up to First United Methodist Preschool and Pam Williams, preschool director, calls out, “Darlington Crew.” Four little bodies cram themselves into my car. Four smiling faces get dropped off at four different Darlington apartments. Why is this carpool different? We are carpooling because we are working around three part-time schedules. Darlington has offered many of the working moms the opportunity to work part-time. The working moms know that this allows us to have a career that we love, working with teenagers, and helps us spend time nourishing the people in our family. As a community, we all benefit from the give and take that we have naturally adopted.
Meals
Mealtime with my children can try my patience. Like every mom, I have a tough battle teaching manners. What do I struggle with the most? My children constantly get up from the table to get and give hugs. Ayumi, whose family lives in Japan, comes in. Gianna, my daughter, jumps up with her arms spread wide and rushes over to plant a kiss on Aymi’s cheek. Next comes Amanda, whose parents work in Saudi Arabia. Both Gianna and her brother, Jonathan, squeal Amanda’s name, and she comes over for a hug. One-year-old Mallory comes in with her mom, who is the wife of a fellow faculty member, and Jonathan smiles and tells us that his “girlfriend” is here. By the time a typical meal is over, both kids have cheered up or hugged numerous students.
I know that my children and all of the young children on campus enrich the lives of the students at Darlington. What the students may not realize is that they offer much to the little kids. When a student quietly corrects my child, or kindly offers support, my child is lapping up their love. The relationship that these children have with other adults on campus also reinforces positive interactions with others from all walks of life. They are becoming more self-confident every time they speak to another teenager. Can you imagine how proud a two-year-old is when he can express himself to a group of teenagers who give him their undivided attention? Somehow, table manners don’t seem as important.
Pajamas
Often I am asked what it is like living every moment of my life with 30 girls in the dorm. It is great! I can honestly say that Darlington students see loving adult relationships, varied parenting styles, and realistic role models. They see me on my good days and also when I am dragging. My cheerleaders catch me many days at my worst. Poor girls. Although I love teaching and my family, I can be frazzled and overwhelmed by the end of the day. Does that make me a bad person? No, I don’t think it does. I think it makes me human.
There have been days when I feel that I can barely make it to another activity and I see a smiling student who waves to me across the Chapel Lawn, or passes me with a quick, “Hey, Mrs. P.” I am a much more effective teacher when I can relate to my students’ ups and downs. I have to admit, this is true for the residents more than the day students. I know that I saw my teachers as beings who never left the classroom. Do you remember the first time you saw a teacher in the lounge? Now imagine seeing your teachers in their pajamas.
Prom
Charlotte from the Class of 2002 lives her life as an example in giving. She gave freely of herself as a prefect, as a manager, and as a friend. When Senior Prom arrived, she made the announcement on the playground to the mothers swinging their children that she didn’t feel that she could justify the cost of a year’s worth of college textbooks on a dress. Several of the women listening agreed but deep down we felt that Charlotte, for all of her giving, needed to receive a special memory. Sunny Wescott Cox, wife of John Cox, Upper School English instructor, and I approached Charlotte with the proposition that Sunny would make a dress for her. She was excited, but as the big day arrived, Sunny and I realized that there was more to the day than a dress. We made a few phone calls. We contacted coaches, dorm duty teachers, and former and current teachers. Many of those who Charlotte had touched wanted to help in any way possible to make a special memory for Charlotte. Quickly, we had enough donations to pay for her shoes, handbag, dinner, prom ticket, and photos. Charlotte asked John Cox to escort her, and all involved agreed that we ended up with a memory as special as Charlotte’s. Amazing what a community can do.
No community is perfect. I choose to live here for some very specific reasons—views expressed by people who share my goals and values, shared meals, and love, the self-esteem my children receive from students, the family I am missing, laughter, tears, and teenage energy. I grow and thrive in this environment every day.
