Is Civility Really a Lost Art?
By Jill Pate - FF/S
Have manners, kindness, integrity and consideration of others become relics of a time gone by? Turn on the TV, read the paper, listen to contemporary music, or surf the World Wide Web and reflect for a moment on the overriding picture of humanity today.
Our elected officials are no longer satisfied to simply disagree with their distinguished colleagues across the aisle, but instead go out of their way to devalue the worth of the other through slander and defamation of character. The vulgar, selfish and often unruly escapades of celebrities and/or reality TV stars are considered prime time (family hour) entertainment. Our sports pages are full of stories about out of control parents attacking coaches or officials. Even athletic fans earn national recognition for their rowdy and often destructive behavior.
Our children are growing up in the presence of rampant misbehavior by friends, family, celebrities, athletes and even the very people we have elected into positions of authority. Our children are our future. Are we doomed to a future where manners, consideration and civility are merely not taught, but are no longer even considered an expected behavior?
There is very little we can do about the behavior and choices of others. Nor can we always control the things that happen to us. However, we can control how we react to the things that happen to and around us. We must teach and model the ability to rise above the misbehavior of others. We must learn to control our retaliatory impulses and treat others with an unconditional positive regard, whether we like them or not, whether we agree with them or not. We must demonstrate respect for our peers, our neighbors, those in authority, and for all people. Without the ability to get along with others, no amount of knowledge will save us. True wisdom is found by those who work hard, have a strong sense of right and wrong, and have compassion and respect for others.
As parents, mentors and educators we must look at the value we put on manners, kindness, integrity and civility. We must look in the mirror and ask ourselves how well we reflect these traits. Children learn what they live. Are they living in a place where they experience kindness and consideration? Do they see, hear and experience good manners on a daily basis? Are we modeling integrity and civility in our manner of talk and in our daily walk? Our future depends on the answer.
