BlogsAcademicsPre-K to 8Learning CenterUpper SchoolAcademic Administration
How Do We Model Compassion While Teaching Responsibility?
Apr 30, 2012 10:40 AM
By Jean Bonnyman - FF/S
The world is not perfect, nor is it fair, and this is an underlying theme students in the Upper School come to realize as they become old enough to grasp it. The more nurturing and less demanding preteen days are gone, and the jingle “I don’t wanna grow up, I don’t wanna go to school” is in the mind of many teenagers.
At its most basic level, Darlington wants more from students than just academics; our motto defines it, “Wisdom More Than Knowledge, Service Beyond Self, Honor Above Everything.” Of course we stress academics, after all we are a college-preparatory school, but at the core of all learning must be compassion partnered with teaching responsibility.
Teenagers rebel in all kinds of ways; it’s a tough world out there, complex and hard to understand. Navigating high school is trickier than ever due to the development of technology. In many respects, students are in the 21st Century and educational institutions are struggling to keep up with our rapidly changing world. Yet the core aspects of teaching are still the same. As adults, we must model and deliver compassion as we work with teenagers, while not enabling them as they struggle to meet their responsibilities (which they sometimes would rather not deal with). This is often a difficult call for teachers because there is a fine line between appropriate encouragement and holding the line of responsibility. This is, of course, difficult for parents as well.
Usually teens just want an adult to listen to them, not judge, and help them find a solution rather than being told what to do. Fixing a problem for a child is tempting, but if you do that before they have at least tried, you rob of them of not only the learning experience, but the self-esteem boost of solving their own problem. People quickly recognize compassion and teens are no different; they will accept responsibility more readily if they feel the adult has compassion for them while knowing they must be accountable. Accountability provides the parameters teens need to gage their behaviors and a road map for expectations. Compassion provides safe haven for making mistakes. Clarifying responsibilities provides safe boundaries for learning. Learning best occurs when a person feels accepted and appreciated for who they are and encouraged to succeed knowing their responsibilities.
At its most basic level, Darlington wants more from students than just academics; our motto defines it, “Wisdom More Than Knowledge, Service Beyond Self, Honor Above Everything.” Of course we stress academics, after all we are a college-preparatory school, but at the core of all learning must be compassion partnered with teaching responsibility.
Teenagers rebel in all kinds of ways; it’s a tough world out there, complex and hard to understand. Navigating high school is trickier than ever due to the development of technology. In many respects, students are in the 21st Century and educational institutions are struggling to keep up with our rapidly changing world. Yet the core aspects of teaching are still the same. As adults, we must model and deliver compassion as we work with teenagers, while not enabling them as they struggle to meet their responsibilities (which they sometimes would rather not deal with). This is often a difficult call for teachers because there is a fine line between appropriate encouragement and holding the line of responsibility. This is, of course, difficult for parents as well.
Usually teens just want an adult to listen to them, not judge, and help them find a solution rather than being told what to do. Fixing a problem for a child is tempting, but if you do that before they have at least tried, you rob of them of not only the learning experience, but the self-esteem boost of solving their own problem. People quickly recognize compassion and teens are no different; they will accept responsibility more readily if they feel the adult has compassion for them while knowing they must be accountable. Accountability provides the parameters teens need to gage their behaviors and a road map for expectations. Compassion provides safe haven for making mistakes. Clarifying responsibilities provides safe boundaries for learning. Learning best occurs when a person feels accepted and appreciated for who they are and encouraged to succeed knowing their responsibilities.
