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Happiness: What All Parents Want for Their Children
Nov 5, 2013 8:59 AM
By Jean Bonnyman - FF/S
The basic job of all students is to improve themselves by learning, and in a perfect world the “love of learning” is a passion. Humans are born with an incredible capacity to learn; babies and young children are naturally very eager and focused to learn. It is certainly tragic that all to often a child's love of learning is lost due to being in the classroom – but that is another topic.
At some point in time, school becomes a job; certainly high school students at a school like Darlington must develop adult skills of time and materials management, persistence and a strong work ethic to name a few in order to succeed. High school students are all too aware they are building a resume and this process usually starts at much earlier ages by participation in sports, arts and so forth. Becoming a "top student " has all the characteristics of career building – yet this too is another topic.
The point of this blog, however, is more focused on the end result, what all parents say they want for their children, and that is happiness in life. Most students similar to those at Darlington have worked very hard by the time they graduate, at not only their academics, but also all the extracurricular things they must do to get into the “best” college. When they get to college this process is even more intensified because at the end of the final academic road in four years there hopefully will be the “best” job. After all, this is what students (and their parents) have been aiming towards for such a long time. But the dropout rate and the burnout rate at colleges has never been so high, not to mention epidemic drinking and drugs. Why? I believe it has to do with the delicate balance of achievement and one of the secrets to the illusive “happiness in life” that is the ultimate goal.
Students must focus on themselves in order to succeed, after all it is their job to learn and improve themselves for their future. Every day they are judged and scrutinized by everyone: their peers, their parents, their teachers and coaches. It is no wonder the stress level of teenagers is so high today. If they carry this focus into adulthood, the "I must perform" all the time routine that is so self-focused, this is not a happy life as a rule.
Adults who are “competitive, self-absorbed, selfish, career obsessed” are not necessarily the happiest. So who are the happy adults – the rich ones, the powerful ones? Not necessarily. The happy adults are, above all else, serving others on any level, whether they are a doctor or a day care worker. This is why it is so important to give our children the opportunity to help others because it is through this action, and the key here is action, that they experience a gut level of satisfaction in life. Through the action of meaningful service comes self-esteem. The reward is the gratitude and betterment of others in the innate recognition within the helper that they have made a difference for the person(s) they “served” that day. In this light all people are truly equal.
Too often our children have no connection as to why they are on this (seemingly) treadmill of meaningless academics and activities. They are unhappy, unmotivated and self-defeating behaviors frequently follow. So parents, give your children the opportunity for meaningful service to others if you want them to experience that fulfilling feeling of being appreciated and making a positive difference. Here lies that secret to happiness; the positive difference shows up in the giver, as much, if not more, than the receiver.
At some point in time, school becomes a job; certainly high school students at a school like Darlington must develop adult skills of time and materials management, persistence and a strong work ethic to name a few in order to succeed. High school students are all too aware they are building a resume and this process usually starts at much earlier ages by participation in sports, arts and so forth. Becoming a "top student " has all the characteristics of career building – yet this too is another topic.
The point of this blog, however, is more focused on the end result, what all parents say they want for their children, and that is happiness in life. Most students similar to those at Darlington have worked very hard by the time they graduate, at not only their academics, but also all the extracurricular things they must do to get into the “best” college. When they get to college this process is even more intensified because at the end of the final academic road in four years there hopefully will be the “best” job. After all, this is what students (and their parents) have been aiming towards for such a long time. But the dropout rate and the burnout rate at colleges has never been so high, not to mention epidemic drinking and drugs. Why? I believe it has to do with the delicate balance of achievement and one of the secrets to the illusive “happiness in life” that is the ultimate goal.
Students must focus on themselves in order to succeed, after all it is their job to learn and improve themselves for their future. Every day they are judged and scrutinized by everyone: their peers, their parents, their teachers and coaches. It is no wonder the stress level of teenagers is so high today. If they carry this focus into adulthood, the "I must perform" all the time routine that is so self-focused, this is not a happy life as a rule.
Adults who are “competitive, self-absorbed, selfish, career obsessed” are not necessarily the happiest. So who are the happy adults – the rich ones, the powerful ones? Not necessarily. The happy adults are, above all else, serving others on any level, whether they are a doctor or a day care worker. This is why it is so important to give our children the opportunity to help others because it is through this action, and the key here is action, that they experience a gut level of satisfaction in life. Through the action of meaningful service comes self-esteem. The reward is the gratitude and betterment of others in the innate recognition within the helper that they have made a difference for the person(s) they “served” that day. In this light all people are truly equal.
Too often our children have no connection as to why they are on this (seemingly) treadmill of meaningless academics and activities. They are unhappy, unmotivated and self-defeating behaviors frequently follow. So parents, give your children the opportunity for meaningful service to others if you want them to experience that fulfilling feeling of being appreciated and making a positive difference. Here lies that secret to happiness; the positive difference shows up in the giver, as much, if not more, than the receiver.
