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Graduation: Follow two students through their final Darlington Days
Jul 16, 2002 8:00 AM
By Stefan Eady - Faculty
by Charles Conner '01, communications intern
With his own recent experiences in Darlington’s Commencement traditions, Charles seemed the perfect choice to author a feature describing the days and feelings leading up to graduation. Charles completed his freshman year at Bervard College, Bervard, N.C. in May.
Thursday afternoon heat presses down onto the crowd. Brows leak sweat. Fingers tug at collars, allowing some of the hot air trapped within shirts to diffuse into the moderately cooler atmosphere. A May breeze whips smoke into the eyes of men who are tending burgers on a grill. Suddenly, in the periphery of their eyes a yellow streak spins then plunges into a blue splash. A smile breaks the surface after a brief pause. It is Darlington senior Frank Stegall. He quickly moves to the pool’s edge as a classmate, in hot pursuit, follows. Another explosion of water sends ripples toward Frank. Frank, a 13-year day student, is comfortable in the familiar surroundings. He enjoys the water, sunlight, company of friends, and the simply fun feel that comes with Senior Picnic. This festivity, given to seniors each year by Darlington’s development office, seems to establish the momentum that builds to Commencement.
Wright Ledbetter ’85, gift officer for capital giving, enjoys the antics as he jokes with the guests. He feels right at home. He should. Since he is a Darlington graduate, he too has relished in the accomplishments leading up to graduation – plus the party is at his parents’ home, Betty and Bob Ledbetter Sr. ’53, longstanding members of the Darlington community.
Senior Missy Lovell, a four-year boarding student from Cumming, Ga., flails her arms through the air as her classmates seize and heave her into the pool. A cheer erupts as Missy’s face emerges from the water. She smiles like Frank, but her smile says, “You got me.”
For a while longer water splashes, shouts echo off the walls, volleyballs fly, then Mollie Avery, vice president for development, assembles everyone and unofficially confirms the seniors as alumni. Avery informs them about giving and asks the soon-to-be alumni to give a dollar to the Annual Fund. When the message is complete, everyone dives toward the pool. The evening continues with lots of activities including food, tennis, volleyball, and abundant camaraderie. Senior Picnic, the last real informal bash for the entire class may be the most enjoyable of all graduation events. As Missy says simply, “It’s just good to get everybody together.”
Some of Senior Picnic’s appeal may be that it seems distant from graduation. The bittersweet sentiment of Commencement differs from the all-sweet experience of Senior Picnic. Missy explains, “Nobody is really looking for the end of the year yet.” Whether the perspective is that this is the end of the year, commencement, or a beginning, Senior Picnic launches the ten-day countdown until graduation.
The next morning begins the final full academic day for seniors at Darlington. Though the physics boat race occurs in the afternoon, there is no other official school event until Baccalaureate on Sunday night. The weekend belongs to the seniors and gives them a last chance to enjoy each other’s company.
The class formally gathers again Sunday night on the Zelle Patio where the Baccalaureate procession traditionally begins. Again, like at Senior Picnic, the warm air and glimmering sun surround them. Frank and Missy wear the expected formal garb along with the smiles that, though not required, seem as prevalent as the formal attire. Excitement spurs conversation. It is abundant until Gordon Neville ’55, associate headmaster and dean of students, whistles for the crowd’s attention. Then he gives instructions about forming lines and how to proceed – instructions that become very familiar before the week’s end. Frank and Missy line up consecutively as they prepare to enter Morris Chapel. Mark Sargent, First Methodist Church of Rome pastor and father of senior Rachel Sargent, is the guest speaker. Frank and Missy listen intently and seem to enjoy the message.
Contrary to Senior Picnic, Baccalaureate affects these two students differently. Missy says, “I thought he did a really good job but I liked Senior Picnic better.” Missy seems to enjoy the laid back atmosphere of Senior Picnic more than the formality of Baccalaureate. While Frank probably agrees with this, Baccalaureate seems to have a larger affect on him. He says that the realization he is about to graduate hits him at Baccalaureate. Finished with classes and with only one exam left, Frank says, “The countdown supposedly started thirty-five or forty days ago for most of the class, but for me it starts now at five days.”
Following Baccalaureate, the seniors return to the patio for a reception, but not until they navigate through a gauntlet of applause from the faculty. This moment may be the most poignant of Commencement. No crowd gathers to watch, making the respect and approval from the faculty a private and intimate gesture. The masters nod to their apprentices.
The next morning, the senior class congregates on the Chapel lawn to rehearse the commencement exercises they have worked toward their whole lives. Only the graduates’ white chairs and the bare stage rest on the expansive lawn. The reach of a magnificent oak shields everyone from the direct sunlight and the spring weather embraces the seniors and faculty alike. The graduates sit scrambled, in the order they came and listen to announcements from Headmaster David Rhodes.
After Rhodes informs them of the protocol for the seniors’ last week, rehearsal begins. Anxious seniors walk from the Chapel lawn to the Home-on-the-Hill’s steps, where the graduation procession will begin. Frank Stegall and Missy Lovell walk interspersed in the crowd of classmates. Frank smiles widely and ambles along with his hands resting in his pockets. Missy strolls next to her friends smiling and waiting for instruction on where to line up from Gus Bell, associate dean of students.
The herd of students stops prior to reaching the steps where Bell and Carl Paxton, graduation coordinator and math department chair, direct the students. Forming two symmetrical lines parallel to each other, they arrange themselves in alphabetical order, but with Cum Laude Society members at the front. The huddled seniors leave the unorganized clump and join the lines as their names are called.
Frank, a Cum Laude Society member, joins those who earned the honored front placement. He stands with other members, including Chris Jackson, Nasreen Fakhri, Erin Pridgen, and Dax Griggs. They trade jokes while others anticipate their names being called. Missy chats with her close friend Helen Davis until Davis leaves to find her place in line.
Eventually everyone is in place and the rehearsal continues. Excitement builds as the smiling seniors walk from the Home-on-the-Hill. They begin to realize what all of this means. Many cheer, “finally” and “I can’t wait to do this Saturday!” However, there are also many seniors who quietly evaluate this walk and how it will feel in five days. Missy and Frank belong to the latter.
The procession winds by Zelle and follows the sidewalk to the traditional white chairs. The lines divide. The class sits and, together with School officials, they practice the graduation routine.
This process quickly abates and the seniors happily ascend the sidewalk to Zelle for a cookout complete with hamburgers, hotdogs, potato chips, sweet tea, and cake. Yet, the food plays a subordinate role to the real picnic treat. Seniors receive their yearbooks before the rest of the School. When they receive the books the mood quickly changes. The boisterous class becomes tranquil as each member reflects and digests. Frank and Missy thumb through their annuals with friends. The weather affords the seniors sunlight for their break on the patio.
Soon, at the end of the meal, almost on cue, the wind picks up and the seniors disappear. They move over the A.J. Huffman ’67 Memorial Athletic Center for a second graduation rehearsal, in case it rains on the morning of graduation.
The drill runs the same: Frank and Missy are in the midst of the assembly forming lines, filing onto the covered court, and listening to instructions. This time seniors receive their diplomas and stand for scholarships, and they inquire about exam exemptions. Some seniors exempt all exams, some exempt a few, and some exempt none. Exemptions make this event the last gathering of the entire class without family and other members of the graduation audience. As Frank says, “It’s our last time to be together as a class.” The rehearsal comes to an end and the seniors leave to study for exams and enjoy their last week as a Darlington student.
The week becomes customized for each senior. The number of exams left to take determines schedules along with final meetings and personal activities. Frank and Missy have relatively light weeks. Missy finishes hers on Wednesday. Frank finishes his exams Monday. He spends his week mowing his family’s pasture preparing for a graduation party; working out, hanging out with friends, and enjoying his summer-like freedom.
Frank attends a unique, unofficial yet traditional event on Wednesday. Senior football players torment the other players by having a party during spring conditioning. They drink cold sodas, eat hamburgers, lounge in chairs, and toss a ball within range of the running, working, sweating, grunting, and basically miserable players. Frank tosses the football, recalling his season as quarterback for the squad. He spots a sophomore or junior wearing his practice jersey, a strange moment for him. This particular event shows the explicit difference between the seniors, enjoying the fruits of their efforts while the rest of the school attends to business as usual.
Meanwhile, Missy goes home to be with family once she finishes her exams. Both Missy and Frank agree that the final stroke of the pen on their exams constitutes the moment when they changed from students to alumni.
Friday, the day before graduation, calls the seniors back to campus for Honors Day. During this Honors Day, Darlington’s ninety-seventh, Frank Stegall’s name is called three times, for the Ray A. Kroc Youth Achievement Award, Sydenham Howell Award, and Joe Mull Memorial Trophy. The awards honor his scholastic achievement, character, and sporting abilities. He quickly finds a favorite among the awards, the Ray A. Kroc Youth Achievement Award. Not only does he get a plaque, but he also receives a free value meal a day for a year at McDonalds for the honor. Frank says, “Isn’t that unreal?”
After the ceremony, he enjoys hanging out with friends during a reception at Home-on-the-Hill. Free sodas, being the center of attention while posing for pictures, and meeting new people; what’s not to enjoy? When this traditional celebration ends in the afternoon, everyone breaks until Senior Graduation Picnic at 6:30 p.m.
That evening Missy and her parents sit with friends including Brian Boone, admission director. Someone asks Missy how she feels. “I’m going to be really sad. It hasn’t hit me yet,” Missy shares. “I’m excited and kind of nervous about tomorrow.” While Missy and her mother share memories about the past four years, other seniors and their families, including Frank, do the same while waiting for the senior slide show. Soon David Rhodes announces the beginning of the slide show and everyone strolls to Morris Chapel.
The slide show is a collection of senior images throughout their Darlington careers, accompanied by a sentimental soundtrack engineered to draw tears and laughter. The show goes very well. A pattern emerges. As new slides hits the screen, either laugh or an “Aaawwwwww,” fills the air. The fading light of the day barely intrudes into the Chapel by the end of the show. The audience, seemingly not wanting the time to end, converse outside when the show ends.
Missy, her family, and some friends, go to the House to finish packing her dorm room. Her friends sit on her bed and joke as she rips her posters from the walls. Her mother takes this time to thank James Milford, Head of Milford House, for all he has done for Missy. This move, like most of graduation, feels bittersweet. Missy will move on, but not without missing friends.
Elsewhere, Frank and his friends make a trip to Cubana Cigar Company in Rome to get, as Frank says, “Victory cigars!”
Commencement goes as planned, except the weather. May, usually warm and vibrant, acts more like February with a cold rain, heavy cloud coverage, and crisp breeze. Luckily the rain ceases before Commencement.
The morning rituals begin. A crew begins drying seats. Seniors pose for group photos: the entire class, four-year boarding students, international students, 12-year seniors, and 13-year seniors. Then they move to the Home-on-the-Hill and prepare to proceed.
The bagpiper begins the procession and the seniors roar with happiness as they proceed to their seats. The program continues through the speaker and finally arrives at awards. President David Hicks reads the winner of the Faculty Medal for General Excellence. “Frank Stegall” booms from the sound system. Frank accepts the award, the highest honor the School offers. Soon after, it is time to hand out the diplomas. Frank ascends the stage, shakes hands receives his diploma, completing his Darlington career.
Missy stands, waits in line, shakes hands, and as she returns to her seat, ends this stage of her life at Darlington.
Commencement ends as the graduates proceed once again to Zelle Patio where family and friends wait for them. A sea of people, smiles, tears, diplomas, gifts, and choir robes cram the small space. Friends hug and cry. Families smile and congratulate. Faculty/mentors bless and approve. Graduation celebrates the future and seals the past.
The graduates seem very close to Darlington. The School has taught them much. “The main thing about Darlington is the education I received. I had a lot to learn. Now I’m independent and ready to go to college,” Missy shares.
They believe they are prepared and ready to move in the world. Missy plans to attend Ole Miss and is considering a degree in English. Frank says, “I’m headed up to Vanderbilt for four years, to med school hopefully, training to be a surgeon, and then who knows.” Does he feel like Darlington has put a sword in his sheath now? Has Darlington set him up to follow his dreams? “Definitely,” he responds to both questions. The post-graduation chaos overwhelms Frank though, and like Missy he vanishes in the hundreds of people swarming the patio.
There may have been more questions to ask them, but that’s okay. They have lives to live and, heck, there are always the reunions.
With his own recent experiences in Darlington’s Commencement traditions, Charles seemed the perfect choice to author a feature describing the days and feelings leading up to graduation. Charles completed his freshman year at Bervard College, Bervard, N.C. in May.
Thursday afternoon heat presses down onto the crowd. Brows leak sweat. Fingers tug at collars, allowing some of the hot air trapped within shirts to diffuse into the moderately cooler atmosphere. A May breeze whips smoke into the eyes of men who are tending burgers on a grill. Suddenly, in the periphery of their eyes a yellow streak spins then plunges into a blue splash. A smile breaks the surface after a brief pause. It is Darlington senior Frank Stegall. He quickly moves to the pool’s edge as a classmate, in hot pursuit, follows. Another explosion of water sends ripples toward Frank. Frank, a 13-year day student, is comfortable in the familiar surroundings. He enjoys the water, sunlight, company of friends, and the simply fun feel that comes with Senior Picnic. This festivity, given to seniors each year by Darlington’s development office, seems to establish the momentum that builds to Commencement.
Wright Ledbetter ’85, gift officer for capital giving, enjoys the antics as he jokes with the guests. He feels right at home. He should. Since he is a Darlington graduate, he too has relished in the accomplishments leading up to graduation – plus the party is at his parents’ home, Betty and Bob Ledbetter Sr. ’53, longstanding members of the Darlington community.
Senior Missy Lovell, a four-year boarding student from Cumming, Ga., flails her arms through the air as her classmates seize and heave her into the pool. A cheer erupts as Missy’s face emerges from the water. She smiles like Frank, but her smile says, “You got me.”
For a while longer water splashes, shouts echo off the walls, volleyballs fly, then Mollie Avery, vice president for development, assembles everyone and unofficially confirms the seniors as alumni. Avery informs them about giving and asks the soon-to-be alumni to give a dollar to the Annual Fund. When the message is complete, everyone dives toward the pool. The evening continues with lots of activities including food, tennis, volleyball, and abundant camaraderie. Senior Picnic, the last real informal bash for the entire class may be the most enjoyable of all graduation events. As Missy says simply, “It’s just good to get everybody together.”
Some of Senior Picnic’s appeal may be that it seems distant from graduation. The bittersweet sentiment of Commencement differs from the all-sweet experience of Senior Picnic. Missy explains, “Nobody is really looking for the end of the year yet.” Whether the perspective is that this is the end of the year, commencement, or a beginning, Senior Picnic launches the ten-day countdown until graduation.
The next morning begins the final full academic day for seniors at Darlington. Though the physics boat race occurs in the afternoon, there is no other official school event until Baccalaureate on Sunday night. The weekend belongs to the seniors and gives them a last chance to enjoy each other’s company.
The class formally gathers again Sunday night on the Zelle Patio where the Baccalaureate procession traditionally begins. Again, like at Senior Picnic, the warm air and glimmering sun surround them. Frank and Missy wear the expected formal garb along with the smiles that, though not required, seem as prevalent as the formal attire. Excitement spurs conversation. It is abundant until Gordon Neville ’55, associate headmaster and dean of students, whistles for the crowd’s attention. Then he gives instructions about forming lines and how to proceed – instructions that become very familiar before the week’s end. Frank and Missy line up consecutively as they prepare to enter Morris Chapel. Mark Sargent, First Methodist Church of Rome pastor and father of senior Rachel Sargent, is the guest speaker. Frank and Missy listen intently and seem to enjoy the message.
Contrary to Senior Picnic, Baccalaureate affects these two students differently. Missy says, “I thought he did a really good job but I liked Senior Picnic better.” Missy seems to enjoy the laid back atmosphere of Senior Picnic more than the formality of Baccalaureate. While Frank probably agrees with this, Baccalaureate seems to have a larger affect on him. He says that the realization he is about to graduate hits him at Baccalaureate. Finished with classes and with only one exam left, Frank says, “The countdown supposedly started thirty-five or forty days ago for most of the class, but for me it starts now at five days.”
Following Baccalaureate, the seniors return to the patio for a reception, but not until they navigate through a gauntlet of applause from the faculty. This moment may be the most poignant of Commencement. No crowd gathers to watch, making the respect and approval from the faculty a private and intimate gesture. The masters nod to their apprentices.
The next morning, the senior class congregates on the Chapel lawn to rehearse the commencement exercises they have worked toward their whole lives. Only the graduates’ white chairs and the bare stage rest on the expansive lawn. The reach of a magnificent oak shields everyone from the direct sunlight and the spring weather embraces the seniors and faculty alike. The graduates sit scrambled, in the order they came and listen to announcements from Headmaster David Rhodes.
After Rhodes informs them of the protocol for the seniors’ last week, rehearsal begins. Anxious seniors walk from the Chapel lawn to the Home-on-the-Hill’s steps, where the graduation procession will begin. Frank Stegall and Missy Lovell walk interspersed in the crowd of classmates. Frank smiles widely and ambles along with his hands resting in his pockets. Missy strolls next to her friends smiling and waiting for instruction on where to line up from Gus Bell, associate dean of students.
The herd of students stops prior to reaching the steps where Bell and Carl Paxton, graduation coordinator and math department chair, direct the students. Forming two symmetrical lines parallel to each other, they arrange themselves in alphabetical order, but with Cum Laude Society members at the front. The huddled seniors leave the unorganized clump and join the lines as their names are called.
Frank, a Cum Laude Society member, joins those who earned the honored front placement. He stands with other members, including Chris Jackson, Nasreen Fakhri, Erin Pridgen, and Dax Griggs. They trade jokes while others anticipate their names being called. Missy chats with her close friend Helen Davis until Davis leaves to find her place in line.
Eventually everyone is in place and the rehearsal continues. Excitement builds as the smiling seniors walk from the Home-on-the-Hill. They begin to realize what all of this means. Many cheer, “finally” and “I can’t wait to do this Saturday!” However, there are also many seniors who quietly evaluate this walk and how it will feel in five days. Missy and Frank belong to the latter.
The procession winds by Zelle and follows the sidewalk to the traditional white chairs. The lines divide. The class sits and, together with School officials, they practice the graduation routine.
This process quickly abates and the seniors happily ascend the sidewalk to Zelle for a cookout complete with hamburgers, hotdogs, potato chips, sweet tea, and cake. Yet, the food plays a subordinate role to the real picnic treat. Seniors receive their yearbooks before the rest of the School. When they receive the books the mood quickly changes. The boisterous class becomes tranquil as each member reflects and digests. Frank and Missy thumb through their annuals with friends. The weather affords the seniors sunlight for their break on the patio.
Soon, at the end of the meal, almost on cue, the wind picks up and the seniors disappear. They move over the A.J. Huffman ’67 Memorial Athletic Center for a second graduation rehearsal, in case it rains on the morning of graduation.
The drill runs the same: Frank and Missy are in the midst of the assembly forming lines, filing onto the covered court, and listening to instructions. This time seniors receive their diplomas and stand for scholarships, and they inquire about exam exemptions. Some seniors exempt all exams, some exempt a few, and some exempt none. Exemptions make this event the last gathering of the entire class without family and other members of the graduation audience. As Frank says, “It’s our last time to be together as a class.” The rehearsal comes to an end and the seniors leave to study for exams and enjoy their last week as a Darlington student.
The week becomes customized for each senior. The number of exams left to take determines schedules along with final meetings and personal activities. Frank and Missy have relatively light weeks. Missy finishes hers on Wednesday. Frank finishes his exams Monday. He spends his week mowing his family’s pasture preparing for a graduation party; working out, hanging out with friends, and enjoying his summer-like freedom.
Frank attends a unique, unofficial yet traditional event on Wednesday. Senior football players torment the other players by having a party during spring conditioning. They drink cold sodas, eat hamburgers, lounge in chairs, and toss a ball within range of the running, working, sweating, grunting, and basically miserable players. Frank tosses the football, recalling his season as quarterback for the squad. He spots a sophomore or junior wearing his practice jersey, a strange moment for him. This particular event shows the explicit difference between the seniors, enjoying the fruits of their efforts while the rest of the school attends to business as usual.
Meanwhile, Missy goes home to be with family once she finishes her exams. Both Missy and Frank agree that the final stroke of the pen on their exams constitutes the moment when they changed from students to alumni.
Friday, the day before graduation, calls the seniors back to campus for Honors Day. During this Honors Day, Darlington’s ninety-seventh, Frank Stegall’s name is called three times, for the Ray A. Kroc Youth Achievement Award, Sydenham Howell Award, and Joe Mull Memorial Trophy. The awards honor his scholastic achievement, character, and sporting abilities. He quickly finds a favorite among the awards, the Ray A. Kroc Youth Achievement Award. Not only does he get a plaque, but he also receives a free value meal a day for a year at McDonalds for the honor. Frank says, “Isn’t that unreal?”
After the ceremony, he enjoys hanging out with friends during a reception at Home-on-the-Hill. Free sodas, being the center of attention while posing for pictures, and meeting new people; what’s not to enjoy? When this traditional celebration ends in the afternoon, everyone breaks until Senior Graduation Picnic at 6:30 p.m.
That evening Missy and her parents sit with friends including Brian Boone, admission director. Someone asks Missy how she feels. “I’m going to be really sad. It hasn’t hit me yet,” Missy shares. “I’m excited and kind of nervous about tomorrow.” While Missy and her mother share memories about the past four years, other seniors and their families, including Frank, do the same while waiting for the senior slide show. Soon David Rhodes announces the beginning of the slide show and everyone strolls to Morris Chapel.
The slide show is a collection of senior images throughout their Darlington careers, accompanied by a sentimental soundtrack engineered to draw tears and laughter. The show goes very well. A pattern emerges. As new slides hits the screen, either laugh or an “Aaawwwwww,” fills the air. The fading light of the day barely intrudes into the Chapel by the end of the show. The audience, seemingly not wanting the time to end, converse outside when the show ends.
Missy, her family, and some friends, go to the House to finish packing her dorm room. Her friends sit on her bed and joke as she rips her posters from the walls. Her mother takes this time to thank James Milford, Head of Milford House, for all he has done for Missy. This move, like most of graduation, feels bittersweet. Missy will move on, but not without missing friends.
Elsewhere, Frank and his friends make a trip to Cubana Cigar Company in Rome to get, as Frank says, “Victory cigars!”
Commencement goes as planned, except the weather. May, usually warm and vibrant, acts more like February with a cold rain, heavy cloud coverage, and crisp breeze. Luckily the rain ceases before Commencement.
The morning rituals begin. A crew begins drying seats. Seniors pose for group photos: the entire class, four-year boarding students, international students, 12-year seniors, and 13-year seniors. Then they move to the Home-on-the-Hill and prepare to proceed.
The bagpiper begins the procession and the seniors roar with happiness as they proceed to their seats. The program continues through the speaker and finally arrives at awards. President David Hicks reads the winner of the Faculty Medal for General Excellence. “Frank Stegall” booms from the sound system. Frank accepts the award, the highest honor the School offers. Soon after, it is time to hand out the diplomas. Frank ascends the stage, shakes hands receives his diploma, completing his Darlington career.
Missy stands, waits in line, shakes hands, and as she returns to her seat, ends this stage of her life at Darlington.
Commencement ends as the graduates proceed once again to Zelle Patio where family and friends wait for them. A sea of people, smiles, tears, diplomas, gifts, and choir robes cram the small space. Friends hug and cry. Families smile and congratulate. Faculty/mentors bless and approve. Graduation celebrates the future and seals the past.
The graduates seem very close to Darlington. The School has taught them much. “The main thing about Darlington is the education I received. I had a lot to learn. Now I’m independent and ready to go to college,” Missy shares.
They believe they are prepared and ready to move in the world. Missy plans to attend Ole Miss and is considering a degree in English. Frank says, “I’m headed up to Vanderbilt for four years, to med school hopefully, training to be a surgeon, and then who knows.” Does he feel like Darlington has put a sword in his sheath now? Has Darlington set him up to follow his dreams? “Definitely,” he responds to both questions. The post-graduation chaos overwhelms Frank though, and like Missy he vanishes in the hundreds of people swarming the patio.
There may have been more questions to ask them, but that’s okay. They have lives to live and, heck, there are always the reunions.
