Girls and Bullying
By Jill Pate - FF/S
I continue to be amazed that many people think bullying is something only boys do. This is probably because boys tend to bully in more obvious ways, like pushing or shoving or teasing. Bullying is a problem in all schools and it’s something girls do, too.
In the literature, girl bullying is often referred to as “relational aggression.” This type of bullying usually involves a lead girl and followers, exclusion of an individual, gossip in the form of secrets and rumors, and verbal insults and threats. Cyberbullying is another common form of relational aggression.
Girls may bully for a variety of reasons and often are not initially aware that what they’re doing is indeed bullying. Some girls may have intense feelings of jealousy, or they may feel insecure and afraid they will be bullied if they don’t join in the bullying. Some girls bully for the excitement, drama and the “status” it gives them as the “alpha” girl. Regardless of the reasons, girls who bully need help to address their needs and concerns. They need to know that it is not okay to bully under any circumstances. They need help learning how to express feelings in a healthy way and help understanding the effects of their actions on others.
On the receiving end, girls who are bullied may have problems developing trusting relationships since the bullying often happens among “friends.” They usually begin to doubt their self-worth and their ability to fit in, and often create excuses to avoid school. Bullying hurts and can leave lifelong emotional scars. Girls who are bullied need encouragement to talk honestly about what’s happening and reassurance that their not being “tattle tales” by reporting bullying. They need to know that parents and teachers can help put a stop to the bullying.
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