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Alumnus delivers 97th commencement address
May 20, 2002 8:00 AM
By Stefan Eady - Faculty
Presented by the Honorable Stephen D. Potts ’48
Thank you, President Hicks, for your kind introduction. Let me begin by expressing my gratitude for your invitation to address this impressive group. Members of the Board of Trustees, distinguished faculty, families and friends, and members of the Class of 2002—it is a great honor to be asked to share some thoughts on this very important day. This is indeed a defining moment—not only for the graduating class, but also for the parents, friends, and teachers who have stood by and supported them over the past few years. There is no greater satisfaction than a job well done, and each of you should take pride in your accomplishment here.
Believe it or not, it’s not so easy to write a commencement address. All I had to do was think back to my own graduation from Darlington. I realize that as a senior sitting in this audience, a half a ceremony away from the next chapter in life and eager to get started with the celebration, the last thing you probably want to do was to listen to someone draw upon ancient philosophy to opine on the meaning of life and the responsibilities you have to give back to society. So, take heart, I’m not going to do that.
It only seems fitting that at the end of your years of schooling, the final words you hear at Darlington come from the people who have the most to say about your lives—you yourselves. You may recall that a few months ago you were handed a Senior Survey that asked you to reflect on your experience at Darlington, what success means, and what you think of the world. My colleagues at the Ethics Resource Center helped me develop that survey. The ERC does a great deal of work with students in schools, so we had a good time going to “the source” and gathering some information from you. For the next few minutes, permit me to hold a mirror in front of you—I’d like to tell you what you think about yourselves, the world around you, and the contributions you have yet to make. IN fact, as much as commencement is a celebration of the things you’ve learned from Darlington, the insights you shared with me made me realize that every one of us here today has something to learn from you.
So let’s get started. First, anyone who thinks that you are an inexperienced and untested group of individuals is sorely mistaken. Many of you left home to come to Darlington and some of you even left homelands to come here. You’ve spent up to 13 years here, and you mentioned the Internet, the fall of the Berlin Wall, cloning, and September 11 as some of the most important events that have impacted your lives while you’ve been trying to find your own way in the world.
In fact, your experiences have taught you a great deal about the world and how it works. And how did you get so smart? It’s time to shock your families. Ninety-nine percent of you said that some member of your family had the most influence in your life. Seventy-three percent of you specifically identified a parent, or both parents as being most influential. And, family members, the odds are more than one in two that your child not only said you were most influential, but also you were also picked as his or her hero.
So back to you, graduates. What have you learned about the world? Sadly, you’ve already learned that it can be a discouraging place. Sixty-five percent of you think that the world won’t be any better when you reach retirement age. One in four of you don’t feel safe living in this country. And it’s easy to understand why—you see war, poverty, AIDS, intolerance, starving children, and the hatred of humankind that so clearly trouble our world. You’ve also been impacted by the tragic events of September 11—Osama bin-Laden joined Hitler and Stalin as the most frequently cited when asked to identify history’s biggest villain. One of you had the originality to identify Jack Kerouac as history’s biggest villain, too. There’s one in every crowd.
But you’ve also learned that you can do something about these problems. Ninety-one percent of you think that you can resolve conflict in a positive way. Ninety-six percent of you are hopeful about your future. Eighty-three percent of you believe you are going to be influential people someday.
So what does that mean? What are your goals? To be happy and successful were overwhelmingly mentioned. You intend to have solid careers and families. You mentioned living out your faith, living out your potential, and helping others. You have aspiring doctors, actors, athletes, and CEOs in your midst. And, might I just add, somewhere out there is the next World Wrestling Federation superstar.
Now lest you think that all these insights came about at home, let me say a few words about this time that you’ve had as a Darlington student. If I were to gather 10 of you, eight of you would say that as you leave this place, you are ready for the real world. Nine of you would say that you’ve learned a lot from your experiences here. And four of you would jump up and down, adamantly agreeing that Darlington has had a profound effect on you. Six point three would say that you’ve learned a lot about being a better person from your teachers here. How you’ve affected three tenths of a student, faculty members, I’ll never know.
As students, you’ve learned important lessons from Darlington. Ninety-five percent of you feel that you’ll be responsible adults. Equally important, seventy percent of you feel that you can make good use of your time. Eighty three percent of you are leaving Darlington aware of what’s going on the world—not bad for a boarding school.
But statistics can only tell part of the story. Let’s hear from you, since you and your classmates had some profound thoughts to share. You said:
“Learn something new every day.”
“Life’s a dance you learn as you go.”
“You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.”
“Roll with the punches.”
“The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
These are all age-old maxims that it’s nice to know have been passed on to you. But I also have to share my very favorite quote offered by the Darlington Class of 2002:
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked through jet engines.”
We may laugh, but there’s some truth to that statement. During the 35 years I spent practicing law for both the military and a private firm, as well as the 10 years I spent as the head of the Office of Government Ethics, I’ve seen my share of both eagles and weasels.
There are some important characteristics to these animals. Where weasels stay close to the ground, eagles take to the air. While weasels take over their victims’ nests, eagles build their own nests, and nurture their young out of them. Weasels live at a safe existence while eagles take risks. Weasels have a very limited perspective. Eagles see the world.
I’ve served under two presidents, worked with foreign governments, and counseled corporate CEOs, and I can tell you that my experience proves what you already know. Weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines because they don’t put themselves in their path. But that also means that they never glean the full value that comes from soaring and learning what is important from the experience.
You’re already on the path of the eagle. For the most part, you value three things: your family, your friends, and God. You told us that you also aspire to be loyal, honest, and to have integrity. Steven Covey is known for saying “being with the end in mind.” A commencement is a funny thing, because it’s both a beginning and an ending. It’s the end of your career at Darlington, but it’s the beginning of a whole new adventure. As you go forward, remember whom and what you want to be. Let me summarize what you’ve said by offering you three pieces of advice.
First, reach out. That means giving help where it’s needed and getting help for yourself. Serve in your community. Your fears about the world not being any better when you retire will only be realized if you don’t make any effort. Think globally, act locally. As one of you noted, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Second, take risks. Be willing to try new things and to take chances, even though you might look silly in the process. Be willing to have your heart broken, and to fail, If you can do these things, you’ll be able to learn, to feel love, and to succeed. One of you said it best: “It you’re not living your life on the edge, then you’re taking up too much space.”
Third, take the time to look back, and have the courage to look ahead. Now that you’ve realized how important the people are who surround you today—your parents, friends, and teachers—thank them for what they’ve done. Learn from your experiences. Tell yourself the words offered by one of your classmates: “This has all been wonderful, but now I’m on my way.”
The Darlington School I left behind me was a much smaller place than Darlington you leave behind today. Despite that, I still had the knowledge and confidence that I needed. I look at my Darlington years as some of the richest and most challenging in my life. I can still name many of my teachers, and I keep in touch with many of my classmates. I cherish the memories and the friends that I made here.
I can only expect that the same will be true for you. Even though you leave Darlington, Darlington doesn’t leave you. I challenge you to make the most of the advantages you’ve been given here, and to leave the world better than you found it.
I’d like to finish with two quotes that you offered. First, “If I were you, I’d promise to live life for all it’s worth, to take all that you’ve been given, and leave your mark upon this earth.” Second, “Let’s roll.”
Congratulations and best wishes to all of you. Thank you.
Thank you, President Hicks, for your kind introduction. Let me begin by expressing my gratitude for your invitation to address this impressive group. Members of the Board of Trustees, distinguished faculty, families and friends, and members of the Class of 2002—it is a great honor to be asked to share some thoughts on this very important day. This is indeed a defining moment—not only for the graduating class, but also for the parents, friends, and teachers who have stood by and supported them over the past few years. There is no greater satisfaction than a job well done, and each of you should take pride in your accomplishment here.
Believe it or not, it’s not so easy to write a commencement address. All I had to do was think back to my own graduation from Darlington. I realize that as a senior sitting in this audience, a half a ceremony away from the next chapter in life and eager to get started with the celebration, the last thing you probably want to do was to listen to someone draw upon ancient philosophy to opine on the meaning of life and the responsibilities you have to give back to society. So, take heart, I’m not going to do that.
It only seems fitting that at the end of your years of schooling, the final words you hear at Darlington come from the people who have the most to say about your lives—you yourselves. You may recall that a few months ago you were handed a Senior Survey that asked you to reflect on your experience at Darlington, what success means, and what you think of the world. My colleagues at the Ethics Resource Center helped me develop that survey. The ERC does a great deal of work with students in schools, so we had a good time going to “the source” and gathering some information from you. For the next few minutes, permit me to hold a mirror in front of you—I’d like to tell you what you think about yourselves, the world around you, and the contributions you have yet to make. IN fact, as much as commencement is a celebration of the things you’ve learned from Darlington, the insights you shared with me made me realize that every one of us here today has something to learn from you.
So let’s get started. First, anyone who thinks that you are an inexperienced and untested group of individuals is sorely mistaken. Many of you left home to come to Darlington and some of you even left homelands to come here. You’ve spent up to 13 years here, and you mentioned the Internet, the fall of the Berlin Wall, cloning, and September 11 as some of the most important events that have impacted your lives while you’ve been trying to find your own way in the world.
In fact, your experiences have taught you a great deal about the world and how it works. And how did you get so smart? It’s time to shock your families. Ninety-nine percent of you said that some member of your family had the most influence in your life. Seventy-three percent of you specifically identified a parent, or both parents as being most influential. And, family members, the odds are more than one in two that your child not only said you were most influential, but also you were also picked as his or her hero.
So back to you, graduates. What have you learned about the world? Sadly, you’ve already learned that it can be a discouraging place. Sixty-five percent of you think that the world won’t be any better when you reach retirement age. One in four of you don’t feel safe living in this country. And it’s easy to understand why—you see war, poverty, AIDS, intolerance, starving children, and the hatred of humankind that so clearly trouble our world. You’ve also been impacted by the tragic events of September 11—Osama bin-Laden joined Hitler and Stalin as the most frequently cited when asked to identify history’s biggest villain. One of you had the originality to identify Jack Kerouac as history’s biggest villain, too. There’s one in every crowd.
But you’ve also learned that you can do something about these problems. Ninety-one percent of you think that you can resolve conflict in a positive way. Ninety-six percent of you are hopeful about your future. Eighty-three percent of you believe you are going to be influential people someday.
So what does that mean? What are your goals? To be happy and successful were overwhelmingly mentioned. You intend to have solid careers and families. You mentioned living out your faith, living out your potential, and helping others. You have aspiring doctors, actors, athletes, and CEOs in your midst. And, might I just add, somewhere out there is the next World Wrestling Federation superstar.
Now lest you think that all these insights came about at home, let me say a few words about this time that you’ve had as a Darlington student. If I were to gather 10 of you, eight of you would say that as you leave this place, you are ready for the real world. Nine of you would say that you’ve learned a lot from your experiences here. And four of you would jump up and down, adamantly agreeing that Darlington has had a profound effect on you. Six point three would say that you’ve learned a lot about being a better person from your teachers here. How you’ve affected three tenths of a student, faculty members, I’ll never know.
As students, you’ve learned important lessons from Darlington. Ninety-five percent of you feel that you’ll be responsible adults. Equally important, seventy percent of you feel that you can make good use of your time. Eighty three percent of you are leaving Darlington aware of what’s going on the world—not bad for a boarding school.
But statistics can only tell part of the story. Let’s hear from you, since you and your classmates had some profound thoughts to share. You said:
“Learn something new every day.”
“Life’s a dance you learn as you go.”
“You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.”
“Roll with the punches.”
“The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
These are all age-old maxims that it’s nice to know have been passed on to you. But I also have to share my very favorite quote offered by the Darlington Class of 2002:
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked through jet engines.”
We may laugh, but there’s some truth to that statement. During the 35 years I spent practicing law for both the military and a private firm, as well as the 10 years I spent as the head of the Office of Government Ethics, I’ve seen my share of both eagles and weasels.
There are some important characteristics to these animals. Where weasels stay close to the ground, eagles take to the air. While weasels take over their victims’ nests, eagles build their own nests, and nurture their young out of them. Weasels live at a safe existence while eagles take risks. Weasels have a very limited perspective. Eagles see the world.
I’ve served under two presidents, worked with foreign governments, and counseled corporate CEOs, and I can tell you that my experience proves what you already know. Weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines because they don’t put themselves in their path. But that also means that they never glean the full value that comes from soaring and learning what is important from the experience.
You’re already on the path of the eagle. For the most part, you value three things: your family, your friends, and God. You told us that you also aspire to be loyal, honest, and to have integrity. Steven Covey is known for saying “being with the end in mind.” A commencement is a funny thing, because it’s both a beginning and an ending. It’s the end of your career at Darlington, but it’s the beginning of a whole new adventure. As you go forward, remember whom and what you want to be. Let me summarize what you’ve said by offering you three pieces of advice.
First, reach out. That means giving help where it’s needed and getting help for yourself. Serve in your community. Your fears about the world not being any better when you retire will only be realized if you don’t make any effort. Think globally, act locally. As one of you noted, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Second, take risks. Be willing to try new things and to take chances, even though you might look silly in the process. Be willing to have your heart broken, and to fail, If you can do these things, you’ll be able to learn, to feel love, and to succeed. One of you said it best: “It you’re not living your life on the edge, then you’re taking up too much space.”
Third, take the time to look back, and have the courage to look ahead. Now that you’ve realized how important the people are who surround you today—your parents, friends, and teachers—thank them for what they’ve done. Learn from your experiences. Tell yourself the words offered by one of your classmates: “This has all been wonderful, but now I’m on my way.”
The Darlington School I left behind me was a much smaller place than Darlington you leave behind today. Despite that, I still had the knowledge and confidence that I needed. I look at my Darlington years as some of the richest and most challenging in my life. I can still name many of my teachers, and I keep in touch with many of my classmates. I cherish the memories and the friends that I made here.
I can only expect that the same will be true for you. Even though you leave Darlington, Darlington doesn’t leave you. I challenge you to make the most of the advantages you’ve been given here, and to leave the world better than you found it.
I’d like to finish with two quotes that you offered. First, “If I were you, I’d promise to live life for all it’s worth, to take all that you’ve been given, and leave your mark upon this earth.” Second, “Let’s roll.”
Congratulations and best wishes to all of you. Thank you.
