NewsUpper SchoolStudent Life
Adviser offers parents post-prom and graduation tips
Apr 23, 2001 8:00 AM
By Stefan Eady - Faculty
With all the annual rites of passage celebrations occurring this spring, director of personal guidance, Jill Pate, explored the Web in search of prom and alcohol related stories. She found a source of information at www.seattletimes.com that might provide useful for parents as they send their children to proms and other graduation and end-of-the-year celebrations. The following suggestions are from www.seattletimes.com and collected from a work by Laura Kastner:Encourage your teen to be an independent thinker. Reminding teens that they don’t have to “go with the flow” with drugs, alcohol and sex is usually more effective than “shaking a finger and saying, Be Safe!” Let them know you believe in their ability to make good decisions.
Require check-ins. Have your teen call at 12 a.m. and 2 a.m. so you know they are okay. Let them know you are interested in their well-being and they are still accountable to you. Negotiate the details. You still have a vote. For example, offer to pay for a limo or dinner if your teen agrees to a curfew.
Start talking about limits early. The more you talk in advance about what the limits and expectations are the less tension there will be the night of the big event.Network with other parents. Talk with the parents of your teen’s friends. Try to set up consistent rules for all participants in a group outing. When everyone has to be home at the same time, for example, the curfew is more likely to be followed than if only a few parents enforce it.Younger teens should not be allowed the same freedom.Freshman and sophomores are “babes in the woods” compared to their older ounterparts. While older teens may resist peer pressure, a 14 or 15 year-old is more likely to want to fit in. Given alcohol, this age group is probably less experienced with its effects and less likely to avoid consumption. Younger teens should not be allowed to stay out overnight or until the wee hours of the morning. An older teen escorting a younger date needs to take this into consideration.Don’t assume your teen is safe because they are with a group or going with “just a friend.” Just because your teen isn’t planning on having sex doesn’t mean they won’t. Talk to them about the relationship between alcohol, the “Big Night” and sex. Many teens, male and female, have their first sexual experience while under the influence of alcohol.Be available:Let your teen know that you are only a phone call away.
Require check-ins. Have your teen call at 12 a.m. and 2 a.m. so you know they are okay. Let them know you are interested in their well-being and they are still accountable to you. Negotiate the details. You still have a vote. For example, offer to pay for a limo or dinner if your teen agrees to a curfew.
Start talking about limits early. The more you talk in advance about what the limits and expectations are the less tension there will be the night of the big event.Network with other parents. Talk with the parents of your teen’s friends. Try to set up consistent rules for all participants in a group outing. When everyone has to be home at the same time, for example, the curfew is more likely to be followed than if only a few parents enforce it.Younger teens should not be allowed the same freedom.Freshman and sophomores are “babes in the woods” compared to their older ounterparts. While older teens may resist peer pressure, a 14 or 15 year-old is more likely to want to fit in. Given alcohol, this age group is probably less experienced with its effects and less likely to avoid consumption. Younger teens should not be allowed to stay out overnight or until the wee hours of the morning. An older teen escorting a younger date needs to take this into consideration.Don’t assume your teen is safe because they are with a group or going with “just a friend.” Just because your teen isn’t planning on having sex doesn’t mean they won’t. Talk to them about the relationship between alcohol, the “Big Night” and sex. Many teens, male and female, have their first sexual experience while under the influence of alcohol.Be available:Let your teen know that you are only a phone call away.
