10 Things I've Learned at Darlington: Mary Frances

1.  Love yourself.

In this life people are going to talk, people are not going to like you, people are going to be mean; this is why it is important to love yourself. When all else goes wrong and you feel as if you have no one, you will always have yourself.

2.     Look for the good.

Yes, life might suck today, but look up and notice how the light leaks through the trees. Appreciate when a smile passes you in the hallway. Remember the person that asked what was wrong on that day instead of asking if you were okay. Look at the stars when you feel small, then remember they, too, look small from a distance. Keep that feeling in your soul the day you finally got an A on a test in that class that felt like the weight of the world. Know that sunshine all the time makes a desert.

3.     People leave: that’s life.

Being a residential student for more than half of my high school career here, I have said my share of goodbyes. Saying that final goodbye never gets easy but you learn to prepare yourself for it. You learn that you must cherish the people around you today because they might be gone tomorrow. It’ll never make sense to me nor will it ever seem fair, but it’s going to continue on until the end of time. 

4.     Sometimes your best isn’t good enough, and that’s okay.

Unfortunately I’ve learned that, sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I will not reach my goal. Even today I have a hard time accepting this. Students here, myself included, put more stress on themselves than any other school that I have seen. We refuse to accept that four hours of studying didn’t get us that A on our test. We refuse to accept that sometimes, no matter how much effort we put into something, it’s just not going to happen. We also don’t hear enough, that when this does happen, that it’s okay. 

5.     Speak up.

Whether it be in a group of friends, in a class discussion, or when you don’t agree with something…speak up. It might be scary, your voice might shake, your heart might beat out of your chest, but if it’s something you feel is important- say it before it’s too late. Tell that “friend” you think they’re being rude; share with the class your interpretation of last night’s reading; take a stand when everyone else is too scared to. You might change the path of someone’s day, someone’s life.

6.     Respect everyone.

I had learned this, of course, long before I came to Darlington, for it was one of the most important morals my parents raised me with. It wasn’t until I came to Darlington, however, that I saw first hand why this is so important. I’ve held friends while they cry, I’ve held my grandmother while she cried…crying because they didn’t receive the respect they deserve just for being human beings.  

7.     Your first love isn’t really your first love.

This is a bit personal but true. To be honest, I haven’t learned this from firsthand experiences alone: I’ve watched it happen in the lives around me. There are so many different kinds of love. Sometimes, you find a new love and realize you never truly loved your last. Sometimes, you find a new love and realize your last was the only one you ever loved. You will get your heart broken, that’s guaranteed, but we were created to love.  

8.     Disagree.

Don’t settle with a statement just because it’s easier. Argue against it. Don’t bite your tongue in a conversation just because you might offend someone, maybe they offended you. Tell them you disagree. Disagreeing with a statement accepted as truth in society is okay. In fact, I encourage it. Disagreeing gets you places. Disagreeing allows ideas to grow, societies to grow. Disagreeing plants change. 

9.     Write things down.

Someone might say something that you love or fires you up: write it down. You see a woman wearing a t-shirt in Washington D.C. that says “DARWIN LIED Genesis 1:1,” make a note in your phone. You see a quote on Tumblr that you like: write it down. You see a lot of quotes on Tumblr that you like: make a folder on your laptop. If you see something that inspires you, that gets your wheels turning, document it so that you can have it for later. You can’t always trust your memory. 

10.  Who is Mary Frances Vest?

This is really cliché, but during my time at Darlington, the most important thing I learned was who I am and what I believe in. Learning all of the things listed above got me here. I will always have this school to thank for helping me realize exactly who I want to be and then actually getting there.