For many of those in my generation, the first impressions of high school we had were not from older siblings or mentors but rather from the scenes of our favorite John Hughes movie. I know that for me, I wondered whether I’d be the prom queen, the jock, the loner or the geek. I believed that heaven was a being a sophomore girl sitting across the table from senior “Jake Ryan” in an empty house blowing out my birthday candles. I thought it inevitable that at some point I would take a “day off” even if I didn’t end up singing "Twist and Shout" on a float. To be honest, as an adult, I’m still a sucker for a good John Hughes movie. That being said, there’s clarity between the fiction of cinema and reality for me.
Having been through high school, I understand that while it can be as cliquish as "The Breakfast Club," the answer for the loner student isn’t becoming a clone of the prom queen, but rather making connections with others through common interests and extracurricular involvements. The stereo-typed foreign exchange student, Long Duck Dong of "Sixteen Candles," may have served as one of the most memorable comedic supports in the movie, but in reality was unfairly characterized as a social peon who assimilates by joining the American teens in drinking and getting himself an “American girlfriend.” I sincerely doubt that International Student Director Kila McCann or those that attended our recent International Fair this past weekend would be inclined to agree that this depiction is healthy for our international boarding students or for our community at large.
Ferris Bueller would have us believe that mental health can be found in truancy, when experience as both a student and educator has taught me that often times it’s these successive absences in lieu of talking with one’s counseling staff that leads to the escalation of problems as opposed to the resolution.
The reality is that while the cult classic movies of the day have changed through years, these kinds of messages about high school have only continued to be perpetuated and expanded upon to include more and more sexual content and drug and alcohol abuse as well as teens’ disrespect towards themselves, their peers and authority figures.
Through our Annual 8th Grade Transition Day, we hope to set aside these kind of skewed Hollywood perversions of high school and provide our rising ninth-graders with a clear and consistent view of what it really means to be an Upper School student at Darlington.
We start off their morning by having them shadow an Upper School student for three of their classes. Students see how long it takes to get from class to class, what the rules and expectations are within the classroom, and also what the workload is like. Furthermore, if a student is paired with an individual that chooses to attend or not attend a coach class, they are able to see what that looks like. There are a lot of privileges as well as responsibilities that come with being an Upper School student. Our students get a firsthand experience of how our Upper School students balance both structured and unstructured time during the school day.
Once the first three classes of the day are over, the students are taken on a tour of the campus by Upper School student tour guides that are arranged through the Admission Office. Again, it is our hope that the students will get to see our campus through the eyes of their older peers. Perhaps the tour guide will share a great place to study or hang out. They might share a funny anecdote about a program they’ve participated in on campus. I know that this year, several Upper School students were participating “TOMS One Day without Shoes,” which coincided with our Transition Day.
Following the tour, the students walk over to the Huffman and meet their parents in the Yankee Wrestling Room for a buffet-style lunch and sundae bar. During this time, families are able not only talk amongst themselves about the how the transition day is going so far, but also to intermingle and discuss their impressions, expectations and questions with other Darlington community members.
Afterwards, the parents and students are invited to stay for one of two faculty panels of Upper School staff and students targeted to answer their individual questions and concerns. In the parent-targeted panel, questions about college preparation, registration of classes and student involvement are all typical topics that are fielded. In the student panel, there is often more of a concentration on the Honor/Dress Codes as well as other student life issues that tend to feel a little bit more pertinent to students than perhaps their senior year and SATs.
It’s here within these panels that our support staff can openly discuss with parents and students the opportunities at the Upper School to get involved in athletics, the arts and other after-school activities that are provided by the school. It is also here that students can start to consider in what ways they want to differentiate themselves on college applications by the choices they make at registration.
Furthermore, we can reiterate a school-wide challenge for our students to step out of their comfort zones and get to know individuals outside of their local sphere through community service, multicultural events and lifelong literacy. Ultimately, we are able to step in front of the student’s summer social activities calendars and let them know what we consider to be the keys to success at the Upper School before they begin that special summer that marks the difference between middle school and high school.
At the conclusion of these panels, the parents and students are once again brought together to participate in a video and discussion led by Director of Personal Counseling Jill Pate on partnering between parents and students to make responsible choices involving underage alcohol use. Lastly, the students return to the Middle School where they are able to process their day in small group activities with their teachers.
While we recognize that not all the important questions will be answered in one day, we hope that our students and parents come away from this event with a realistic view of the Upper School as well as some names and faces of some of the many important support staff we have here at Darlington.
