“As a child, I was always very sensitive to people’s emotions and observant of their expressions and behaviors,” said Jill Pate, Darlington’s recently retired director of personal counseling.
Pate’s intuition and kind spirit came in handy when guiding the Atlanta native to choose her line of work, long before she ever called herself a Tiger.
Before joining the staff at Darlington, Pate was already an active member of the community as a parent and the wife of an alumnus. Connecting with the school on another level was not always in the plan, but in time, she would bring her wealth of experience and expertise to the students.
After earning a B.A. and B.S.N. at the University of Denver, Pate worked for 20 years in hospital-based psychiatric programs with children and adolescents as a Certified Mental Health Nurse, counselor, and program administrator.
It took a blend of persuasion and perfect timing for former Headmaster David Rhodes to convince Pate to apply for and accept the role of director of personal counseling. When the conversation first began, she still had young children who needed their mother at home. But as daughter Sara (’08) entered fourth grade and son Ben (’07) entered fifth, Pate decided it was the right time to pursue the next chapter of her career, this time at Darlington.
Sixteen short years later, Pate has retired, bidding a fond farewell to the place that fostered deep friendships and connections for everyone in her family.
As a personal counselor, Pate’s primary job was to do just that – build relationships with students, parents and faculty. The scope of her work was sometimes reactionary, but usually more proactive in nature as she worked to guide young Tigers on the road to well-being.
“I love that students feel comfortable just hanging out in the Counseling and Student Life offices,” said Pate. “Those friendly, relaxing, hang-out times are the building blocks of trust and open the door for the more difficult conversations that may arise.”
Having seen many changes at Darlington over the years, it is the addition of the House System that stands out to Pate as most transformative.
“The House System has created a true family atmosphere that has increased a sense of belonging and kinship among our community,” she explained. “It has narrowed the gap between our day and boarding students, and has brought students from various backgrounds and cultures together.”
Pate has experienced a spectrum of seasons and emotions during her tenure, always reminded of the strong bond that unites every Tiger.
“My time here has been full of laughter and, at times, tears. Surprisingly, it is probably the hardest of times that I hold closest to my heart,” she said. “There was a season of great loss, out of which grew a spirit of gentleness, caring, and acceptance among our students and faculty. The shared trauma of those losses forever connected us to each other.”
And while the door of her Wilcox Hall office closed for the final time at the end of the school year, Pate has no intention of slowing down any time soon.
“I’m excited about having time to visit family and I’m looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead,” she said.
Among her upcoming adventures is a trip to England for a veterinary exchange program with husband Dan (’76, LD ’13), the owner of West Rome Animal Clinic.
The retiree will also be busy helping her daughter plan a November wedding, where Sara will walk down the aisle of Morris Chapel just like her parents did in 1985.
“I will miss experiencing ‘life’ with our students and families,” said Pate. “Most often, it’s simply being present in their lives and being available.”
Beyond the years of fond memories and countless students who are better for having known Jill Pate, she is also left with valuable lessons that will carry her into a successful and vibrant retirement.
“Our faculty are passionate about what they do and challenge our students to be active participants in the learning process,” said Pate. “Working with teachers has inspired and motivated me to be an active and lifelong learner.”
Note: This fall, Tiffany Doerr will fill the vacancy in the Counseling Office. She holds a B.S. in Human Development and Family Studies from The Pennsylvania State University and an M.S.Ed. for Psychological Services from the University of Pennsylvania. Doerr has 13 years of experience in counseling, working primarily with high school students.
